At least make sure they are 18
Why
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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