sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
