I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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