There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
