naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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