i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
