Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
