we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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