Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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