Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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