I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
