this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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