you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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