New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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