I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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