Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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