And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
