i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
