He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i out mim tonsoeep
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