What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How does one acquire holy water?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
