at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
