Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
