i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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