Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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