I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you traded sex for a burrito?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
