I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
