And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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