she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
