I love black thongs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
