whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
