Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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