If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
