I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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