She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And then my night got REAL pukey
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
