You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
