Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
