I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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