I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
