They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
