singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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