john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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