You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
