But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
