if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
