and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
