god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
