3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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