she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
this will be a night to untag.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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