Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
