Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
