took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
